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life can be cruel.

hey, im amanda. i hate pretty much my family. well actually, pretty much all people. the only thing I have left in life is my boyfriend who I love to death, but feel is pushing me away further day by day & could lose at any minute. I've been homeless more the last year than I have had a place to stay. I'm a mess, and 99% of my choices are mistakes. I'm depressed, diagnosed with major & dysthymia. I'm bipolar 2, rare form of ocd, have anxiety and attack attacks like a mother fucker. I love giving advice. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I can't make decisions for the life of me. I hate girls, only have a few girl friends, the rest are all guys. I am nothing like anyone im related to. I'm the fuck up & looked down on because I went through more than any of them could begin to understand and have nothing to turn to but drugs. I might be a "bad bitch" but I'm one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I get fucked over a lot because I trust everyone until they give me the reason not to. I'm always honest and tell things straight up. I'm not afraid to say how I feel. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks or says about me, I do whatever the fuck I want to do & what makes me happy. I'm not trying to impress anyone, so you're approval isn't needed. I am told I give the best advice, but I never listen to it myself. I am shy as fuck until you get to know me. But when you do, I'm always told I'm chill as fuck and have an awesome personality. I've been to jail once, that was a blast. I'm a fucked up depressed mess of a person, but if you can get past that, I'm a pretty awesome person to know. ha. my fucked up life consists of music. my boyfriend. smoking. bomb ass drugs. good sex. occasional drinking. stupid crazy decisions. food. cuddling. writing. hustlin money & just livin life one fuck up at a time. hmu.